ส่งการบ้าน แต่งเรื่อง my house past tense 🤠

My Edition ปี เดือน จำนวนตัวเลข สมมุติ  year, month,  number are making up

It was my beautiful childhood memory. When I was a child , my family and I  lived in Bangkok's suburb.  My parents relocated from North Eastern of Thailand in 1869. They raised me, sisters and brothers in a medium size bamboo hut. The palm leaves roof did not protect rain leaking well, however, we could manage that issue with ease. Meanwhile, I always dreamed to have my own house which better and bigger than the hut. Eventually, my dream came true after I worked and collected enough money to get a bankrupt house from the bank.  I was 19 years old when started working and took five years until I got the down payment for my first house. Even though, the house needed a big renovation which caused me a million baht. After all, we moved in the house and brought  pets ; a cat and three dogs along. It was the most beautiful house and I was very proud of myself.  Unfortunately, I left the house in Thailand and moved permanently to the USA after married to my husband and did not have a chance to go back again. 

ปล. ใช้คำ house เยอะ อ้างอิงจากต้นฉบับ

2nd Edition try not to use the word "HOUSE" to often

It was my beautiful childhood memory. When I was a child , my family and I  lived in Bangkok's suburb.  My parents relocated from North Eastern of Thailand in 1869. They raised me, sisters and brothers in a medium size bamboo hut. The palm leaves roof did not protect rain leaking well, however, we could manage that issue with ease. Meanwhile, I always dreamed to have my own house which better and bigger than the hut. Eventually, my dream came true after I worked and collected enough money to get a bankrupt asset from the bank.  I was 19 years old when started working and took five years until I got the down payment for my first property. Even though, the place needed a big renovation which caused me a million baht. After all, we moved in the accommodation and brought  pets ; a cat and three dogs along. It was the most beautiful venue and I was very proud of myself.  Unfortunately, I left the estate in Thailand and moved permanently to the USA after married to my husband and did not have a chance to go back again.